Fandomtopia
Welcome to Fandomtopia! Register or login today and join the fun!
Log in

I forgot my password

Latest topics
» Beloved Admin 1-Year Celebration Thread
Yesterday at 11:25 am by honey

» The Kpop Club
Mon Jan 15, 2018 8:57 pm by Beloved♥

» honey's ultimate resource dump ~ 300+ textures / PNGs inside~
Mon Jan 15, 2018 8:00 pm by Beloved♥

» Kpop News Thread
Mon Jan 15, 2018 6:16 pm by Hazza

» The Maze Runner: The Death Cure
Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:08 pm by gabs☆

» K-Pop News Notice!
Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:06 pm by gabs☆

» Games Forum Notice
Sat Jan 13, 2018 4:51 pm by Hazza

» Famous In Love
Sat Jan 13, 2018 4:46 pm by Hazza

» The Incredibles 2
Fri Jan 12, 2018 9:27 pm by Hazza

Who is online?
In total there are 12 users online :: 1 Registered, 0 Hidden and 11 Guests :: 1 Bot

Bridget

Most users ever online was 112 on Wed Feb 26, 2014 8:26 pm
Read our rules here!

Top posting users this week
Beloved♥
 
honey
 
Hazza
 
Savanah
 

Poll

2018 Resolutions?

15% 15% [ 5 ]
12% 12% [ 4 ]
12% 12% [ 4 ]
3% 3% [ 1 ]
9% 9% [ 3 ]
6% 6% [ 2 ]
9% 9% [ 3 ]
21% 21% [ 7 ]
15% 15% [ 5 ]

Total Votes : 34

Timezones
Pacific Time Eastern Standard Time Mountain Time Central Time Zone South Africa United Kingdom Atlantic Time
Flag Counter

Ribbons

Affiliates
Protected by CopyScape
Protected by Copyscape
Statistics
We have 584 registered users
The newest registered user is vloek

Our users have posted a total of 288183 messages in 5115 subjects

Waiting for Superman~short story

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Waiting for Superman~short story

Post by ReadtheRavishing on Tue Dec 02, 2014 10:36 pm

Heyyyy awesome people!
I bring you a short story for your review and critique. I posted it on Wattpad awhile ago but wanted to know what y'all's thoughts were. It's my first attempt at anything romance-y so it's a bit rough. Please tell me what you like or don't like!

(based on the song "Waiting for Superman" by Daughtry)




She’s talking to angels,
Counting the stars
Making a wish on a passing car
She’s dancing with strangers,
She’s falling apart
Waiting for Superman to pick her up
In his arms
 
 
 
She walks through the revolving doors of the office building into the bustling street, glad to be homebound after a long and trying week. First her presentation was deemed "Wrong, it's just all wrong!" by her manager, then the elevator in her apartment building broke down, and of course she lives on the fifth floor, and to top it all off, she bumped into a sidewalk salesman this morning and spilled her coffee on her jacket. Not to mention her boyfriend--or ex-boyfriend now. He dumped her on their two month anniversary three days ago. Considerate, wasn't he?
 
She crosses the street amongst a hoard of people. Rush hour was always the worst time of day, but it's not like it could be avoided. Normally she would be upset at the crowds, but today all she wants to do is go home and hide from the rest of the world for the next two days. Taking a shortcut through a small park, she sees several couples on park benches or walking along the pond and can't help the icy dagger that she feels piercing her heart. She's twenty-seven years old for heaven's sake; when is she going to find someone who will truly love her?
 
She's had...she takes a moment to tally them up...six 'boyfriends' in the past two years alone, and frankly is starting to give up hope that she will ever find her knight in shining armor. It's not that her life is horrible by any means...she's just tired of the city and its busyness, its people always in a hurry, never stopping to smell the roses.
 
She passes a poster for the new Superman movie at a theater and stops despite herself. She looks at it with a certain fondness.
 
She's seven years old again, playing in the backyard of her family's home. "Come on!" her brother yells. "You be Lois Lane and I'll be Superman! I'll save you from the bad guys!" He dubs the family dog as the villain and chases him around the yard until the poor thing runs around to the front of the house. She cheers from her perch in the treehouse. He helps her down. "I, Superman, have saved the damsel in distress!" They run around the yard in celebration, his costume cape fluttering behind him.
 
She returns to the present time. The city is filled with taxis and people and lights and chaos. She looks at the poster one last time before walking away and shakes her head. The time for childhood games and dreams of superheroes in capes saving the day is long gone, replaced by the  demands of work and adult life. If only there was someone to save her from this mess…
 
Snap out of it! She tells herself as she nearly misses walking into a street sign. She stopped believing in fairytales and superheroes long ago.
 
~~~~~
 
She's only a few blocks away from home when she sees him. Her eyes widen in shock, not because he's handsome; she isn't paying attention to looks right now. No, she notices that he's crossing the street absorbed in his phone screen only a dozen or so yards away from a delivery van with obviously no intention of stopping. Instinctively  she darts into the street and grabs his wrist, yanking him out of the way with only a second or two to spare as the van whizzes by them. He's confused at first until he realizes his phone is laying in the middle of the street, shattered.
 
"Oh my God! Oh...I…" He turns to her, registering what just happened. "You saved me! I...thank you!"
 
Her heart is racing from the adrenaline but she composes herself. "Are you alright?"
 
"Yeah, thanks to you! I don't know how to repay you."
 
She shakes her head. "Oh, it's fine, don't worry about it. It was no big deal."
 
"At least let me buy you a coffee or something?"
 
"No really, that's ok. It was nothing."
 
He laughs. "Hey now, I don't consider my life to be 'nothing'. Please? It's the least I can do for you, Supergirl."
 
Her eyes widen at his words. Slowly she puts her hand in his outstretched one.
 
"Okay."
 
 

And she smiles, oh the way she smiles.
avatar
ReadtheRavishing
Ultimate Member
Ultimate Member

Reputation 0
Posts 2132
Tickets 2828
Location : TN
Warning :

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Waiting for Superman~short story

Post by Hazza on Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:43 pm

Aw I love this, it was amazing

_________________
avatar
Hazza
Founder Samantha
Founder Samantha

Reputation 27
Posts 86295
Tickets 78950
Location : With Harry Styles, don't bother me ;-;
Warning :

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Waiting for Superman~short story

Post by Jəssıca on Fri Dec 05, 2014 6:51 pm

This was great! (:
avatar
Jəssıca
Ultimate Member
Ultimate Member

Reputation 0
Posts 1506
Tickets 1604
Location : ᴀ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀɴᴇᴛ.
Warning :

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Waiting for Superman~short story

Post by Aleesa❥ on Fri Dec 05, 2014 7:00 pm

This is so good Read! 
I like how this is relevant to life
avatar
Aleesa❥
Ultimate Member
Ultimate Member

Reputation 0
Posts 4226
Tickets 3904
Location : ѕoғlo ☼
Warning :

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Waiting for Superman~short story

Post by King K on Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:02 am

Awww omg
avatar
King K
Elite Member
Elite Member

Reputation 0
Posts 8187
Tickets 12447
Location : Manhattan's Upper East Side
Warning :

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Waiting for Superman~short story

Post by ReadtheRavishing on Mon Feb 02, 2015 11:09 am

Locked
avatar
ReadtheRavishing
Ultimate Member
Ultimate Member

Reputation 0
Posts 2132
Tickets 2828
Location : TN
Warning :

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Waiting for Superman~short story

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum